The End.

So, it's literally been forever since I've posted in here. But, I think this may be the end of this blog... at least for a long time. I looked at the first post I put in here, and I couldn't believe that it had been such a long time ago. So, since college has been done for a while now, I feel like it's time for a change...

For those of you that are interested, I have a new one that I started a few months ago. Here's the link:

http://mjbuts.blogspot.com/

I'm not sure how good I'll be at actually updating it, but we'll see =]

It's been a good run...

Random

Yikes! It has sure been a while since I last wrote in here. I'm a terrible blogger. Ahhh well.

I'm going to update this thing fast, and then probably update more later. I forgot my journal, and I'm sitting here in a Starbucks before class is about to start, and I'm making myself quit support-raising stuff for a little bit right now and think about other things...

This summer has been quite challenging. As I've been raising support to intern at MSU this coming fall, it has definitely had its rollercoaster moments... it's funny how one moment during this process I can feel really awesome, and then the next, I can feel completely overwhelmed, like everything is out of control.

But something I came across today was this:

For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. -Colossians 1:16-17

I encourage anyone who might stumble across this to read Colossians 1, all the way through. It's awesome. Actually the whole book of Colossians is awesome. But, I was especially encouraged by the first chapter today.

My God holds everything together. It's the bottom line. It's simple, but it's true, and I need to believe it and apply it to every aspect of my life. I need to apply it to the truth that the Lord says is true about me. The lies I listen to are lame. I need to apply it to what God says is true of Himself, and the Love He has for me.

I could go on...

Anyways. This is random. Just needed to write down my thoughts, because I didn't have anything else.

I've gotta run to spanish now. Only two more classes of my undergraduate career, ever... yesss.

Peace.

Midterms :(

Dear Midterms week,

This one is already turning out to be rough. I don't like you. I just want to go to PCB... now.

Love, Melissa


Lord, I need you to get me through. I'm really struggling right now... I'm tired, I'm exhausted, and my head's been hurting a lot. Help me to rest in you. Help me know that my soul can rest in you, amidst life's craziness. I know this in my head. Help my heart to know this, and to rest in you.

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." -Psalm 62:5

Grace

I find that sometimes some of the best ways I meet with the Lord are through music. I came across this amazing song the other day called, "My Beloved" and it basically sums up what God has been teaching me lately. I think I love this song so much, because there's so much truth in it, and so much truth in the word that backs all of it up.

“My Beloved” - Kari Jobe

You're my beloved (Psalm 139:1-3)
You're my bride (Isaiah 62:5)
To sing over you is my delight (Zephaniah 3:17)
Come away with me my love (1 John 4:10)

Under My mercy (1 Peter 3-8)
Come and wait (Psalm 39:7)
Till we are standing face to face (Revelation 21:3-4)
I see no stain on you (Ephesians 2:4-9)
My child (1 John 3:1)

You're Beautiful to Me (Colossians 3:12)
So Beautiful to Me

I sing over you My song of peace (Zephaniah 3: 17)
Cast all your cares down at My feet (1 Peter 5:7)
Come and find your rest in Me (Matthew 11:28-29)

I'll breathe My life inside of you (Psalm 139:13-17)
I'll bear you up on eagle's wings (Isaiah 40:30-31)
And hide you in the shadow of My strength (Psalm 27:1)
I'll take you to My quiet waters (Psalm 23:2)
I'll restore your soul (Psalm 23:3)
Come rest in Me and be made whole (Psalm 33:22)

You're My beloved (Jeremiah 31:3)
You're My Bride (John 3:29)
To sing over you is my delight (Zephaniah 3:17)
Come away with me my love (Lamentations 3:22-24)


After I heard this beautiful song, I went and found passages of scripture that I thought best went with each of the lines of this song. Now when I hear it, it's even more powerful, because I feel as though God is directly affirming these truths to my heart. Lately He's been teaching me a lot about grace... that even though there's so much I feel is wrong with my heart - so much ugliness, and so much I feel that needs to be fixed, He still looks at me stainless. He's always working on my heart, and doesn't look at me any differently because I'm His child. And all He asks is that I come to Him amidst my busyness and through the "Martha moments" in my day and sit at His feet, and He'll take care of it all. I just need to stop trying so hard.

Father, I thank you that you enjoy it when I come to sit at your feet. You want me to spend time with you, and you want me to experience all of your love, joy and splendor that you have to offer. I thank you that you are constantly working on my heart and have so much grace for me, when I have very little grace and patience for myself.

The Stand

I'm going to update this later with more, but I wanted to put this down quickly before I forgot...

I have a new favorite song that was played at Christmas Conference. It's called "The Stand" by Hillsong United.

Here are some of the lyrics...

You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

I couldn't figure out why I cried every time we would get to the chorus of this song at the end, but then I realized this: The words of this song are so amazing, because it represents a child of God standing completely surrendered to Him. It's an amazing picture.

There's a lot I know I need to learn, and I know that there's a lot I need to surrender to the Lord, especially in these next few months. One thing I've been learning more and more is that this life is not my own, but the Lord's. He loves me, and He's going to take care of me.

Father, help me to understand that.

The Shadow Proves the Sunshine

Woah. I am not a good blogger :) When was the last time I did this thing? September? Sheesh... Just thought I should update this thing since next week I'll be done with my second-to-last semester of college... (My goodness.)

I feel like a lot has happened since the last time I updated. Last time, I was just moving into my dorm room, I was completely overwhelmed by all the change that was taking place, and I needed the Lord to just show me that it was all going to be okay.

Well, He's definitely done that... this year has definitely proved to be totally different than the rest. At times it's felt really uncomfortable, and I've been forced out of my comfort zone often more times than not. I've been pushed into situations in which I feel completely weak, but in those situations, He has been proven strong (after all, this is the point, right?) He's shown me that His grace is sufficient in my weakness, because His power is made perfect this way... (2 Cor. 12:9) This semester has also been a blessing, as I have met so many new people, and have been able to pour into them and share life with them and form new relationships. I love it here, and I feel so blessed to be a part of something so great in West Circle...

Right now I'm listening to the song "The Shadow Proves the Sunshine" by Switchfoot, (everyone needs to get their new album by the way... in case you were wondering!!!!) and it's awesome, because I feel like it's a direct representation of what the Lord has constantly shown me in my life. I feel like in the valley, and in the midst of any type of trial, it's when He's done the most work in my life - I've just needed to be patient and have faith... its what this whole thing is all about. I've just needed to be reminded that life isn't all over when I'm in that spot that doesn't feel good... that I can't just "cop out" when I feel like giving up, because God is constantly making me into the second man - into the likeness of His Son. It's all a process, and I just need to be patient.

This week at bible study, we were looking at a passage in Acts - specifically chapter 13, where Paul and Barnabas basically go all over the place, because they are sent by the Lord to share the Good News of Jesus. Throughout this passage, there are several whose eyes are opened, and several that come to know Christ as their personal Savior.

In verses 38 and 39, Paul says this:

"Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through him everyone who believes is justified from everything you could not be justified from by the law of Moses."

We talked about justified meaning, "just as you have never sinned."

It's funny, because as I was leading a discussion this last week in life group, I felt like I learned more from the girls who came. (And, I feel like this semester, I've been learning more and more from them as the weeks have gone on...) I felt like they really understood the message Paul was portraying here in Acts... that God has looked at us completely spotless, and He has forgotten our sins (Hebrews 10:13-17). Once again, I'm reminded of how amazing Grace really is!!

I feel like I was really convicted because recently I had literally written in my journal of all of the ways that I had been failing - in friendships, in school, in carrying out the Gospel, in temptation to sin, in relationships, in ministry, in giving Him my future, etc.... and I was just sitting in it! But doing this was a sin in itself! I am justified by Christ and made clean, and I don't have to feel bad and have a pity party for myself when I screw up... His love is enough for me.

I need to remember this, and I need to trust Him and BELIEVE Him when He tells me that I am justified, and guilt-free.

Because of His Son, I'm free, and I no longer am bound by the chains of my trespasses. Praise God for this amazing gift!!

Father, I pray that you would help me to remember your truth all of the time, so that I might walk in your freedom always, with Your love radiant upon me. Thank you for this amazing gift, and thank you for constantly lifting me out of the valley, and holding on to me, even if I am on the verge of copping out. I'm so grateful for your faithfulness when I have so little faith. Your grace is pretty amazing.

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. (Galations 5:1)

Change

A few weeks ago, I moved back to East Lansing. It was a rough day, because I had to move my stuff into my room by myself, and I wasn't super excited to be moving back in the first place. I think it was just overwhelming to think that senior year was actually happening, and that things were going to be a little different this year. I've never really done well with change. Even when I was a little girl, my parents told me that I used to get upset when we did things differently than what I was used to.

As I was lugging my things up and down the stairs and was struggling and dropping things all over the place, I finally sat down on my un-made bed and started to cry. I think it was a combination of things, but this idea of change, and things being different has really never sat well with me. I know that this year, there's so much "un-known" that I don't know about, that I'm going to need to trust the Lord with. There are so many securities that I've had in the past that I can't run to anymore - again, with this whole trust thing. I know that I've never had to trust the Lord as much as I'm going to have to trust Him with this year. It's going to be a process. I think it's going to be really cool. I'm just glad He's a very patient God.

Since that first day, I'd say that it's been quite a rollercoaster of emotions. I've been excited and nervous as preparation for the year have come into play, and then when it actually began last Wednesday, I'm not sure if it actually hit me. I don't think it's actually hit me yet. There's been quite a few times when I've wished I could be fifteen again because I don't want to grow up, but then there's also been times when I've been so excited because I love West Circle, and God's already working. One of my best friends came and visited earlier in the week who'll be leaving for a year-long internship out of the country. It was so good to visit with her, but so hard with the goodbyes, and again, especially the change.

That first day I moved up to school I was walking by West Circle and had my ipod on and the song "Revelation Song" came on. I feel like God really used that song to remind me of His sovereignty. The lyrics of the chorus are:

"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is, and is to come. With all creation I sing, praise to the King of Kings. You are my Everything, and I will adore You."

I feel like God was trying to tell me that yes, the world and everything in it constantly change. This is a fact. In fact eventually all things in this world will pass away (Matt. 24:35). But, He is constant, God never changes, and His love is neverending. This hit me hard, and I was comforted, because I know that in essence through everything, the Lord is the One I can always run to and He's never changing, unlike everything else in this world. I love it. The change in my life is okay. It's good, and I'll get used to it - because it's God's plan, and people need to hear the Good News.

I'm reading Acts right now, and I'm so encouraged by the Apostles, how they consistantly perservere, that in times when the "stuff" gets in their way, they constantly find a way back to the root of why they're actually living, and what their sole purpose is/was. They were pursuers of men and women, helping to carry out the word of God and watching it all unfold. They were faithful, and relentless, and true soldiers of the Lord, knowing what it truly meant to live for the sake of the Gospel and give nothing less than to love Jesus, and love people.

I often wonder what my life would look like, or how it would look differently if I lived it in this way, and trusted Him in this way. Far too often I find myself and my mind wrapped around the "stuff" of my life. And when I think about it truly, people's lives - people's souls are just far too important and fragile for me to be thinking about myself. My life and "stuff" doesn't nearly compare or ever matter, because I already know the Truth, and so many more need to hear it. I need to be less selfish.

I want nothing less than to be used by You as Your instrument, to bring You glory, and to help spread Your word throughout the world, and throughout campus. This is my prayer.