So today's it... in a couple hours I'm heading back to school to start another semester - my sixth semester at MSU... where things are complicated, and I have no idea where my path is leading. I've enjoyed these last four weeks of rest and carefree living. I guess life can't be put on hold forever...
I'm scared out of my mind. I have no idea what to expect at all. All of the things I have to do - people I have to talk to, and different options I now have to weigh and make decisions on... I have no desire to do any of it. Part of me wants to run. I know He has a plan in the midst of it all, but that doesn't make any of this feel any better or any less scarier. I'm twenty-one years old and my world has been turned upside-down. MOst people know at least what they're going to get their degree in by now. Without the faintest idea, because of constant roadblocks, it's just so discouraging. And the biggest question is, how am I going to bring my Father glory in the midst of all of this? I need to. I'm called to do it. He is worthy of it. I need to pray for it.
Abba, I just need you to fill me in with all of this, somehow. I know you will, but please, do it quickly because I seriously feel like I'm drowning in it all. Help me not to freak out... Right now I'm freaking out. You know how scared to death I am of this, and you know how much I've been trying to avoid even the slightest thoughts of any of this. Keep me in your arms. I don't want to do this, but I know that I have to. Keep me safe... "Let me not be put to shame." (Ps. 25)
Keep showing me that your love is enough.
My hope is in you.
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