My hope is in You

And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?
My hope is in you.
(Psalm 39:7)

As my Father, You ask me to wait... You've made that clear. Anything I've tried to figure out on my own in my life this far, I've just screwed it up... or You've let me know that You want something different by throwing me some sort of curveball. This last one hit home. And right now, it stings. It hurts... it doesn't feel good. But, You ask me to obey You, and I guess at this point, it's all I can do. Because everything else is so unclear and I have no idea what anything means, all I can do is cling to what I know is true... and that is You,

Abba, help me to do that. Help me to trust You, and to wait on You. Help me to trust that everything will be okay, and that You've already got it covered.

As Your child, I'm gunna try to do that. I'm going to try and trust You... trust that Your going to give me guidance and clarity. But I need Your help.

I know You are good. I know You love me. I know You have not led me here alone and You will always be in the boat with me... right alongside me. You promise to never leave Your children... be with me when I am brokenhearted, and show me Your comfort. I need You more than ever right now.

Thank you for Your sovereignty and for Your love.

Let me know that you hear me
Let me know your touch
Let me know that you love me
Let that be enough.

Let me not be put to shame...

Everything's changed, and I want to believe
There must be a reason, there just has to be
Cause my faith is strong, till it all hits home
And it's not enough for me to trust
When it hurts too much

I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart. (Psalm 40:8)

Father this is my desire, to honor You... to do Your will... to follow You all the days of my life.

But I'm scared out of my mind. I don't truly know or understand what this means. You've changed what I've thought was a path... You've thwarted this path. And I don't know what to do anymore.

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame...
Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. (Psalm 25:1-5)

Abba, guard my heart... guard my heart.
Help me cling to what I know is true.
Otherwise I have nothing else.

Good and upright is the Lord...He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness... (Ps. 25:9-10)

I have no idea what You want with me, and with my life. I have no idea what You have planned, and I don't know when I'm going to learn that You are God, I am not, and I can only see a part of the picture that You are painting. But it's painful and I have nothing left. I have nothing left but to hold on to you. I need Your strength because I cannot do this on my own! Take my hand and remind me that You're there, holding on to me. Lord, can You remind me of Your love? I need You to show me. Remind me that You are always there... in the boat with me... carrying me through each storm that I trudge through.

Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me! Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you. (Ps. 25:20-21)

Father, it is Your arms that I fall into. Hold me close, because I am quick to forget that You are there. Dry these tears, put strength back into my bones, and put the broken pieces back together - these broken pieces that You somehow intended on fitting together in the first place.


Where is the power, to give what I gave?
Give back the strength
Give back the faith I had yesterday
Cause you are my God
You are my Great I Am
And I know I have fallen but..
I have landed in healing hands

Elf Yourself!!!

So, I was bored today and made this video.
I don't think I've laughed so hard in such a long time...
:):):)

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Freedom

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
-Galations 5:1

I am just really amazed by this verse. It's amazing to me that my God - my Jesus loves me for absolutely nothing. I think sometimes people get a skewed view that there's some sort of price to go along with such an awesome gift. We live in a society today that says that nothing is for free. Everything costs something. There's always a catch because nothing could be that great.

But Jesus tells us that all we need to do is believe that what He says is true:

I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life.-John 6:47

I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.-John 11:25:26

This world is satan's advocate to tell us otherwise... to tell us that we need more in order to earn favor with God - to earn His acceptance... in order to gain salvation. He tries to tell us these things so that we feel guilty, so that we think it is an impossible task - something that is unattainable... never to be reached.

But it's a lie. In fact it's quite backwards from what the Word says... from what God tells us. Because, It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. :)

His gift is free to us, and is absolutely amazing. Nothing else is like it.

He gives us this free gift because He loves us so much, and because He wants us to be His little children... He wants this gift to be free because He wants us to go to heaven. He wants us to live with Him on those streets of gold, and dwell with Him forever!

He wants us to experience this:
"Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." -Revelation 21:3-4

What a loving Father... that He would send His only Son to die for us... His free gift to us because He loves us and wants us to be His. How beautiful...

The father of lies
Coming to steal
Kill and destroy
All my hopes of being good enough
I hear him saying cursed are the ones
Who can’t abide
He’s right
Alleluia he’s right!

The devil is preaching
The song of the redeemed
That I am cursed and gone astray
I cannot gain salvation
Embracing accusation

Could the father of lies
Be telling the truth
Of God to me tonight?
If the penalty of sin is death
Then death is mine
I hear him saying cursed are the ones
Who can’t abide
He’s right
Alleluia he’s right!

Oh the devil’s singing over me
An age old song
That I am cursed and gone astray
Singing the first verse so conveniently
He’s forgotten the refrain
Jesus saves!

Everyone needs to watch this...

Discomfort

It's been a while.

I'm listening to the Charlie Brown Christmas album by the Vince Guaraldi Trio, and it's wonderful. I love Christmas. Since I was born in December, I think I'm natually just a sucker for Christmas music, snow, Christmas trees, Christmas decorations, Charlie Brown, sappy Christmas movies, and making Christmas cookies. I'm a Christmas bum... I'm okay with it.

Earlier this afternoon I was sitting at my laptop looking at my schedule for next semester, planning out each day of the week like I usually do, just to get a feel for what my schedge is gunna look like to see if I need to make any changes. I'm not sure what to do anymore. In figuring out my schedule for next semester and looking ahead, it just doesn't look appealing to me. It's overwhelming. I know that I've never felt secure about this major. In fact, I've always felt a bit more uneasy than sure about it. I feel as though God has shown me more about life than more about my major in these last few years. I have learned so much about the heart of God, and that there's still so much that I need to learn, and so much that I will learn in time.

In college I feel the one thing God has really revealed to me and shown me is a desire to help touch people's lives and show them that there is a hope that they don't know about - especially those that have never heard the Gospel before, or those who have never truly understood it or have been given that chance to make the decision to follow Christ, or simply - to want to learn more about Him. I feel like God has formed my character and my heart in college, way more than anything else - way more than my comfort. After all, comfort would mean that I would know exactly the path for which my life is going to follow. Comfort would mean that I would feel secure right now in my major - in music - and in my life. Comfort would mean that halfway through my junior year, and at almost 21 years old, I would have a career path definitely in sight. But if I were comfortable, would I be stretched? Would I be allowing God to be at work in my life if things always seemed to be completely under control, and if I had a glimplse of everything down the road that was going to happen? I don't think so. If I was comfortable, these monstrous migraines also wouldn't be a part of my life. Everything would be perfect.

The bottom line is that God is at constant work, and it's okay to feel uncomfortable. It's okay if things don't make sense to me right now.
He promises me this:

"Let what you heard from the beginning abide in you. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, then you too will abide in the Son and in the Father. And this is the promise that he made to us - eternal life... eeryone who has been born of God overcomes the world." -1 John 2:24-25 & 5:4

He also says this in the Old Testament:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." -Jeremiah 29:11-14

For the first time it's all making perfect sense. I have overcome this world (as uncomfortable as I feel right now), because of the incredible love of Christ, and His blood that has already been shed. But for those that don't know this same love that I do, they have not overcome the world and don't have the same joy and the same hope that I have to look forward to. And their discomfort in this world looks a lot different than mine. I guess this is why I want to show people Jesus, so that they can see that living life each day is worth it, even when it doesn't seem like it is sometimes. I guess my discomfort right now is just a mere chapter in the eternal life story that God has for me, so it's okay to not have everything figured out (because God does), and it's okay for me to be uncomfortable for a little while for His sake, so that His love might be shared.

Ultimately, He knows everything, and I do not. He is sovereign, and I am not. He knows way more about my life than I do, and He knows way more about my well-being and my heart than I do. So if He's going to rock my world right now with this major, then it's okay. Even though it looks a little bit rocky, it's going to be okay. I know I can take comfort in knowing that in the long run He's got it. And I know that if this migraine thing is still going to be persistent, then so be it. God's using it anyway, and working something out in my life and in my heart.

I know that God uses every circumstance - every aspect and everything that happens in my life for a reason. Everything that happens shapes my character, and shapes my heart for His good, pleasing, and perfect plan - and amdist the discomfort, in the long run, it's totally worth it, even though I don't understand it.

Father, guard my heart and guard my mind and show me that all I need is your love. Protect me from the father of lies as he tries to invade my heart with things that aren't true. Abba, penetrate my heart with Truth. Penetrate my heart with your love.

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
Let that be enough


Oh the Devil's singing over me,
an age-old song
that I am cursed and gone astray
singing the first verse so conveniently, over me
he's forgotten the refrain:
Jesus saves!

Baptism

I'm getting baptized on Sunday. I'm really excited.
I've been wanting to be baptized for about a year, and so I'm happy to finally have the opportunity to do it.

About a year ago, I dedicated my life to Christ. After a season of many questions and doubts about God, I was finally able to surrender and give everything to Him, and to live my life for Him. In the last year, He has revealed Himself to me through His love, and He has shown me just how in control He is of all things. By becoming a daughter of Christ, I have been completely transformed and He is continuing to teach me new things every day. He has placed people in my life at school, and they have become such an important part of my life – people that are a family because of the common bond that we have in Christ. I have people in my life who love me, and who challenge me on a daily basis – pointing me to God’s Word, and to ultimate truth, because they love me, and they love Jesus. I am encouraged to live my life in a Christ-like way because of their example.

I know that God is at work in my life because of the way that my heart is completely changed from how it used to be. Prior to following Christ, I was really selfish. I lived only for myself, and I lived to achieve my own goals and run my own life. I have a heart for people now. I want to live the rest of my life for Christ, so that I can share His unconditional love with those who haven’t experienced His love, so that they can see that there is a hope far greater than anything they’ve experienced. A hope that is worth living for each day, that gives a purpose to each and every life in this world. I want to live in a way so that everyone can see His love.

The reason I want to be baptized, is because I want publicly proclaim this commitment I have made to Christ. Now that I have made the decision to follow Him, and I have been called His child, I want to show the world that I am His, and I am committed to Him and His good, pleasing and perfect plan. He has done so much in my life in just a year’s time, and I am so excited for what He has in store for the future. I can see that everything God has done has been in His perfect timing. Just like it says in Ecclesiastes 3:11… He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that He loves me so much, and He loves each and every one in this world. Jesus is my strength and my refuge, and without him I am nothing.

I have a 10-page paper due tomorrow. I've been working on it for a week and a half. Earlier this evening, I went to go open it up on my computer, and it was completely gone. I don't know how it got deleted, but the document it was in was completely blank. There weren't any tears, because I think I was just in complete shock. So here I am at 2am... the paper should be done. On top of it, I'm applying for advanced standing tomorrow, and have a mountain of music theory homework left to do. I don't think I'm going to get any sleep tonight. I'm exhausted and it's going to be a long night... my goodness.

Father, give me strength. I have absolutely none.