I miss it.
Adam's Field, west circle, Thursday nights.... I miss fellowship. I miss people my own age. I miss being pushed and pursued after. I miss encouragement, and I miss pouring into others.
I don't like this place I'm in, and I'm having a harder time than I thought I would. I need to pray for myself. I need to journal. I need to read the Word. But I continue to not pursue Him. I've tried plans, and I've tried committing myself. It just doesn't happen. Something has to change, because I can feel myself falling once again. The stagnancy has set in, yet I don't know how to change it.
I feel really alone in all of this. I'm trying not to let him keep me silent but it's hard. When I've let him twist things around in my head, and when I've let him make me believe things, it's hard to fight back. And when I'm not armoring myself with the Word to protect myself from him, I'm just being kicked around.
I'm having a hard time tonight. I'm having a hard time this summer. I want it to be August.
I suppose that this too will pass, just like everything else...
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"For I have satiated the weary soul, and every sorrowful soul have I replenished."
-Jeremiah 21:35
"Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."
-Matthew 11:28
Hi.. i came across your blog. I don't know if those verses encourage you in any way... i know they always give me a sense of hope. I pray you find rest.. even when the enemy seems to be wearing you down... we have a Savior who is unbelievably strong.
You are NOT alone, my friend. It may feel that way because you have been torn from the community you had at school, but you are NOT. This time absent of fellowship can be a preparation time for you. A time to be with Jesus and accept his rest.
Looking forward to talking to you soon.
<3
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