Who I am hates who I've been

I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.
And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I can't let myself fall back. If something doesn't change, this is going to be one long summer. I'm really worried I'm going to run out of money. It's really tight. And now my manager only scheduled me for one shift next week. I'm not getting very many shifts anymore, and no one else is hiring right now. And I try to not let myself keep thinking this... but I can only think about what it could've been if I would have gone to Virginia Beach. I've really been trying to have the best outlook on this summer, but I'm tired. I'm sad. I don't see a purpose at all. I'm not the shining Light of Christ like I should be to those around me. The headaches aren't any better. I'm frustrated with everything. And I'm trying not to let him keep me silent. I'm trying to live out the message I gave in my testimony last night - to not let the father of lies keep me silent. But sometimes he kicks me down so far that it's hard to get back up. I'm tired. I'm sad. I'm broken. I just want this summer to be over with.