Prayer

Lord, I come to you with a lot on my heart this morning. Father, on Sunday, you made it really clear to me that you may want me in Africa or maybe even Asia next summer. Prior to this year, I don't know if I would have been able to say this, but I am really excited at the idea and opportunity. Lord, in these upcoming months, help make it clear to me what you'd like me to do. I'm willing to follow, and I'm willing to serve you. The sermon on Sunday and those missionaries at church really spoke into my heart. I think that deep down, I may be a little bit afraid. So Lord, turn what might be doubt or fear in my heart, to encouragement and excitement for whatever you've got planned. I know the Word says that you have a good, pleasing, and perfect plan for me. Looking back at the way you've changed my life this past year, I believe in that promise. So Lord, help me to be able to persevere, even when it's hard.

Lord, the other things on my heart are the questions in my heart that I have about you. I don't think I've honestly ever presented these things to you, so please forgive me. Father, help me to understand the point and meaning of prayer. I understand that you want a relationship with me, and even that can be hard to accept sometimes. But God, I have a hard time grasping what the power of prayer is, and what it does if you already have planned everything what is going to happen. We can't change things ourselves and only you can. Please help me to understand. Father, something else I've been struggling with is something I think I've always struggled with. Lord, what is the purpose of everything? Why did you create me, as well as the rest of this world? Why would you create us for you when you are Great enough already? Sometimes I have anger in my heart Lord, because I feel resentment toward you. I feel that it is selfish of you to create everything so that you can have and receive glory. Lord, I'm only being honest with what's been on my heart. So please forgive me. I know you know me already, and know that these things have been bugging me, and I've had a hard time with them. I know you've wanted me to present these things to you. So God, here it is... help me to understand, or have a peace about not understanding - whatever is according to your will. I know that one day, I won't have these doubts and questions anymmore. One day, I'll be able to live in heaven with you. But for now, I need you to comfort me and tell me that it's okay. Sometimes I even question my salvation and your promise that I am written in the book of Life. Sometimes I even question you, and if this is all real. So Father, I need you to strengthen me, and let no doubt enter into my mind that I am forever saved, and you are forever true. Help re-instate that confidence to me when I am not confident, so that I can share you and your Truth with those around me. Help me to rely on you and your word this summer. Teach me what it means to use your word as my daily bread. I know that by reading your word, maybe some of these questions will clear up. I know that through it, I will draw closer to you and come to know you more. That is my lifelong goal, to become more and more like you ever single day. Lord, help me to achieve this goal.

Father, I ask also that you would cure my aching heart. I miss MSU and the community there so much. I find myself missing things there quite a bit. I know that you have made MSU feel like home for me, because last summer I asked you to help me have a better year this year. The first year was hard, and you did far more than just turn it around. You completely changed everything and made it so good. Those girls are my sisters, and with each one I know I can go to for anything. But Father, help me to not become sad and my longing for west circle to get me down. Help me to truly enjoy this summer. I know that you have something planned for me, even though I can't see it right now. Help me to wait patiently, Lord. Help my longing heart to have rest as I wait on you. Comfort me in the lonely times. Strengthen me when I am weak. Help me to boast about my sufferings when I am weak, so that I can be strong.

Abba, I need you, and my heart longs for you. As your child, make me whole. Draw me close to you as I search and find rest in your name. Show me your love and give me the warmth of your comfort. Lord, help me to be strong. I need you more than anything.