Summer is here

So I'm home now. I guess I don't really know what to feel right now. It finally hit me that the year's over and summer is here. I kind of wish it were warmer outside, and the temperature was as warm as it looks outside right now.

I didn't make it home on Friday. It took me forever to pack everything up, and I barely made it out of there before 8 - which is when the deadline to get out of the dors was. Talk about last minute...

I don't think I've cried as hard as I did on Friday in a really long time. I had a headache all day. As I was getting on the freeway to come home, shooting pains went through my head, and I lost it. I couldn't stop crying. I wept for my head and migraines in frustration. I was a mess. I cried in my apprehension to go home this summer, instead of going to Virginia Beach. I cried because I'm leaving the place that I've established as home - the place that has helped grow me and make me part of who I am today instead of who I was a year ago. It was a long cry.

So I got home yesterday morning. I didn't do really much of anything all day. My head still hurt a lot. I was also tired, and probably slightly sad. Hopefully that wasn't a sign of what this summer is going to be like.

I need to get a job. I need to be busy, because I already feel so restless. I feel like I could be in Berlin, or Virginia Beach, or anywhere else right now doing so much more than just sitting here. Who knows how this summer will pan out. All I know right now, is that I have very little faith of how it'll be. And this isn't glorifying to God at all.

Abba Father, I need you to change my heart.